Scott, dog.
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Getty

It’s been so hot outside lately. Despite it being September and thus, in spirit, fall, the heat has been positively oppressive. And who wants to take their dog out in that? Luckily for the L.A. folk, they have another option. Adam Scott (Severance, Parks and Rec) will walk your dog. For the right price, that is. Scott is auctioning off his dog-walking abilities as part of the Union Solidarity Coalition’s auction to benefit their crew health-care fund. You just have to live in L.A. But maybe you don’t have a dog. Or maybe you don’t live in L.A. Luckily, the USC has many other options for you, including but not limited to: Lena Dunham painting a mural in your home, Parker Posey’s personal collection of Dazed and Confused and Party Girl memorabilia, and, the current leader in the category of “most bids,” a signed apron from the cast of The Bear. And if you’re a dog owner who is fine with the heat, you can always just go for John Lithgow creating a watercolor portrait of your dog. One notable offer is a “fan pack” signed by the cast of Arrow — a cast that includes Stephen Amell. Someone’s got his tail between his legs.

Meanwhile, the internet, uninspired by the offerings available, has taken to creating its own options. What would the internet like from celebrities? Well, a lot of explanations of their purported beefs and references to their memes and past infractions. Which would we choose? We’d like to know what Julianna Margulies and Archie Punjabi’s Good Wife fight was about, of course.

This post has been updated with memes.

Adam Scott Will Walk Your L.A.-Based Dog