I Think My Dad Has a Crush on a High Schooler—and Other Advice From the Week

Slate publishes a lot of advice each week, so we’re pulling together a selection of our favorites. Here are a few of the most compelling questions from the week and links to hours of advice reading. This week: inappropriate office romance, overbearing mothers, and inheritance issues.

Dear Prudence

No Teenage Stepmom, Please: I think my dad (72) has a problem. Since I was a kid, he’s been a serial “relationship overlapper” (what many people would call cheating). He developed a relationship with another woman while married to my mother, developed a third relationship while with that woman, and so on. He is charismatic with an irrepressibly sunny personality, and these infidelities do not seem to cause him any concern. Within the last decade, he finally married again to the most recent woman. My siblings and I hoped that this would be his last relationship, given his age. We really like his wife, and we would like her to stick around. However, he now has a new female “friend,” an intern working for his very small business.

He is very enthusiastic about this intern, texts her often when he’s not in the office, and talks about her taking over the business someday. The intern seems to welcome this, including posting images of the two of them working closely together (and sometimes in a side hug) on company media. My siblings and I get the sense that his wife is fed up with what seems like at minimum an emotional affair, but we’re not privy to their relationship discussions and none of us live close enough to see them more than at holidays. But we feel we need to do something because—here’s the kicker—the intern is in high school. He refers to this girl as “very mature for her age” and by all accounts she is, but she’s still underage. Having seen the pattern of his crushes turning into his next relationships, my siblings and I are worried about this budding relationship—the effects on the girl, the legal consequences should it progress, etc. What do we do?

Care and Feeding

Trying to Launch: I’m a recent college graduate, and I’ve started a small freelance business for graphic design. Things are going well, and building, but I moved back in with my parents to help save on costs. I do chores around the house and pay rent, but I’ll admit I’m paying about 1/5th of the market rate, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to save on costs while I’m getting myself established. However, the move back in has been a bit rough. My mother is what you could call “technologically impaired,” and she only works part-time, so she’s at home a lot. She seems to be psychologically incapable of understanding the difference between me on my computer and working, and me on my computer and not working. My room doesn’t lock either, so I can’t physically keep her out, and roughly once a day she’ll wander by when I’m working, twitter on about something pointless until I get fed up and ask her to leave so I can work on whatever project I’m doing. She’ll look hurt, apologize, promise never to do it again, and be back again the next day.

That was irritating enough, but earlier this morning was the final straw. I was talking with a prospective new client, and for a contract that’s pretty big from where I’m sitting. We’re going over requirements, and my mom must have heard me talking because she bustles into my room, “Oh, you’ve made a new friend” wanders over behind the screen, and starts trying to chat up the client. Needless to say, I did not get the contract, and that cost me almost a grand. We had another fight about it, and she’s promised not to come by when I’m working, but she’s broken all the other promises along those lines, so I don’t have much faith in this one. I’d move out, if I could afford to, but I can’t and I probably won’t be able to for several months at least. I’ll never be able to leave if she keeps chasing away clients. How do I make this work?

How to Do It

Empty Nesters: My husband and I have been married for 25 years and were together for five years before getting married. We have four adult kids—our youngest just moved out for college last year. From the time things got serious in our relationship, he was very open about the fact that he occasionally hooks up with his (male) friend “Charlie.”

It was presented as very much a “take me or leave me” situation but I really didn’t mind at all (and still don’t) and said I was fine with it. I also occasionally pursue other casual relationships with men and my husband is fine with that too. It’s not something that we “don’t talk about” but it’s also just not something we discuss. We also have a great and satisfying sex life with each other and spend a lot of quality time together. I am completely happy with our relationship. Here’s my problem: My husband and Charlie work together, and they both used to travel a lot for work, so a lot of times they would have sex would be during those business trips and occasionally here and there at Charlie’s place (before he was married).

However, now we’re older empty nesters, and they’ve been traveling for work less, my husband and Charlie are going on more “fun” trips together. Again, this is fine with me, but I’m struggling with how to explain this to my kids. What do I do?

Pay Dirt

Inheritance Issues: What do you think is fair regarding inheritance as a couple? My grandfather just told me that he has decided to leave me and my cousins a sizable share of his inheritance since all of his children are very well off. He is not doing well and is trying to get his affairs in order. I would like to have a conversation with my husband about this, but I am torn as to what I want.

I love my husband dearly, but he has never been good at making or handling money. He came from a lower middle-class family that liked to “blow” their money if they ever got anything extra. While we probably couldn’t get by on just my income alone, he makes about half of what I do. Right now, we have bills divided up equally based on income. I pay two-thirds and he pays a third. We always have the money for the things we need, but because of my husband’s propensity to blow his portion of his fun money, we often don’t get to do a lot together, which has started to bother me recently. What do you think?

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